When a Negative Nelly is bringing the team down.

We’ve all worked alongside at least one of these people in our lives.  Maybe we’ve even been that person.

I know I have. 

You know the one.  The one who thinks everything sucks.  The one who complains that work is terrible and refuses to participate in staff events.  The one who is like a dark cloud that rains on everyone else’s parade. 

I’ve been the person who is “too cool” to participate only to realize that I’m the one missing opportunities to connect.  

It is not fun feeling left out at work the day after the annual staff golf tournament when everyone is laughing about what a great time they had and was that seriously a porcupine on the 8th hole?! I guess I’ll never know. 

I remember one day years ago, when I worked for a small company and had just sat down in the lunchroom for a break when I heard someone else enter the room.  I glanced up from my butternut squash soup. 

Oh. 

It was him. 

The guy who spent EVERY SINGLE lunch hour complaining about how terrible our workplace was. 

On this particular day, I did something that surprised both of us. 

I looked at him and said  “Are you planning on complaining for the whole lunch hour again today? Because if that’s your plan, let me know so I can leave.”

A moment of silence passed while he processed my less than tactful greeting.

“So… did you watch Survivor last night?” He finally asked.  

Seriously. After months of frustration and being sick of the toxicity and negativity, all I had to do was speak up.  

What a concept.  

And OF COURSE I had watched Survivor.  How else would I find out if Boston Rob and Amber were actually going to end up together?! 

So what can you do with the Negative Nelly dragging down your staff?

Get to the root of it.  

If they are a notorious complainer or gossip, maybe they are simply looking to connect.  Sometimes talking (ahem - complaining) about the workplace or other staff may seem like an easy way to engage someone in a conversation. 

At one company I worked for, the boss didn’t trust people to get their work done without him constantly checking in, or berating them.  Anytime we socialized, it was done in quick whispers looking over our shoulders for fear of getting into trouble.  

Whenever said boss left the building, the receptionist would sneak into my office to complain about how terrible it was.  She would talk to me every opportunity she had because spending days sitting alone feeling incapable of having a conversation without getting into trouble was isolating.  She was trying to connect with me through the negative gossip because she was lonely.  

So what can you do?

Taking time to have regular check-ins with all staff is important, especially with the person who is potentially changing the tone of the work environment.  There is likely something bothering them, and having the chance to vent or offer input may help. 

“I notice you rarely attend staff events.  Is there something specific you’d like to see?  A time of day you prefer? A reason why you don’t?  Do you have conflicts with another staff member?  Have you had bad experiences in past jobs? Are you having a negative experience in this role?  How can I support you?”

Questions like the ones listed above may help get to the bottom of why they are hesitant to engage in the positive changes you are trying to implement. 

Some people simply want to get to work, put their heads down and get home after.  This is completely fine.  It’s when there is a negative aspect involved that it is a good idea to get to the root of the issue, so like a dandelion it doesn’t spread through the organization! 

Give people the opportunity to get to know each other during office hours.  

Once a week give the team an extended coffee break. 

Provide something fun in the office lunch room.  Decks of cards, a ping pong table, dice games, anything that is simple and people can have a laugh around.  Start a lunchtime league.  It’s fun and gives everyone something to look forward to during the day. 

Sometimes people just want to know that they are valued members of the team.  Give them the opportunity to provide input and you'll be pleasantly surprised.  And you may just find yourself at the top of the leaderboard for lunch hour yahtzee.  So what have you got to lose? 

Unsure if I can help your team thrive?  Book a half hour discovery call.  I offer one hour guided meetings, half day, full day or two day fun, interactive, customs sessions for your team and organization based on your specific needs.