How are YOU showing up at work?

I want to tell you a story.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away, I worked in an office.

And I was MISERABLE.

I hate to admit that, but I was.  And I know I was.  And everyone who worked there knew it too.

I was set in my ways.  I had my group of work friends.  I did not attend staff events.  I was judgemental and sneered at all the “fun “everyone claimed to be having.

When new people started, I did bare minimum to train them, did not get to know anything about them and was quick to pass them off onto other people.  (I can’t believe I am sharing this; I am very ashamed of my behaviour – but know the importance of vulnerability – even though it is terrifying)

It was January, I had just come back from my second maternity leave.  I was scrambling to get a baby and a toddler to daycare every day only to arrive at a workplace that was notoriously quiet in the wintertime.

I would sink low in my chair, literally throw my head back and moan dramatically about how terrible it was. How bored I was. How my skills were being wasted.

One day while reading the newspaper I saw an ad for a job that would be perfect for me!   YES! I was going to apply for this job! I was going to GET this job! I was going to be busy and successful and challenged, and it was going to be AWESOME!

I did get that job. 

Remember earlier when I was not super friendly to new people?  Well, it was my turn.  Some people were helpful, but the overall tone of the workplace was toxic, and I was not exactly welcomed with open arms by the unhappy staff who didn’t understand how or why I left a “cushy government job” to go work there.

After a few months, I realized the job was not for me, and made another leap to an architectural firm - where once again I was the new person.  People were kind but being the new person sucks.  Not knowing what you’re doing and hating asking for help all the time (yes, I know, I know – I am still cringing over how unsupportive I was with newcomers at my original job) – and to be quite honest this job was not working out either. 

When I originally left my corporate job, someone joked about how a couple of people were retiring soon, and I could apply for my old job back if my foray into the private sector didn’t work out.  ‘HA! It will be a cold day in hell before I go back to that job!’ I thought. 

That cold day in hell arrived.   Turns out, I really MISSED my corporate job.  I missed my friends.  I missed my comfort zone; I missed knowing what I was doing.  Someone retired and I did get my old job back. What a twist, right?!

You know in A Christmas Carol, after Scrooge experiences the three ghosts and prances around town, becoming the happiest, most generous, helpful man?

Well, that was me.  I was so EFFING happy to be back there *and mildly self-conscious feeling like I came back with my tail between my legs* that I was super nice to everyone.  Took the time to get to know people.  Learned their stories. Learned about their families.  Helped out whenever I could, took on extra responsibilities. Participated in staff events – funny thing – staff events were WAY more fun than being Judgey mMcJudgerson from the sidelines. 

And to my chagrin, I had MULTIPLE people tell me how I was so much nicer and pleasant to work with.  Thinking back to my old behaviour, I want to crawl into a hole.  It was a painful truth to hear, but also makes me feel proud for how I have grown.  I owned my previous terrible behaviour and apologized.  After being the new girl twice in one year, I went out of my way to meet and chat with new people and built tons of awesome friendships.

Eventually I outgrew that role as I finally discovered the work that TRULY LIGHTS ME UP but the four years that I was back in that position, I feel like I genuinely had a positive, rippling effect on peoples’ lives.  So many people would come visit and chat about their lives that my friends hung a DOCTOR IS IN sign at my desk as a joke.

If you were to take an honest look in the mirror right now, how are YOU showing up at work? Are you taking the time to be helpful, get to know people, or merely a body in a chair?

Because I can tell you from experience that being more than a body in a chair changed my perspective on life and made me a better person.  And made going to work every day a lot easier.

It is because of that life experience that I started my own business. I have been the person who is miserable dragging the team down, the person who is left out for being new, the person who brings the team up by getting involved.  And having been there, I get it.  I know the feeling

(the positive and negative) and it is my mission to help people not feel the way that I did at the start of this story, nor TREAT people the way I did.   

Did you skip to the end? Moral of the story today – don’t be a jerk.  Treat others how you like to be treated. And be a good, kind human.